


You Are The Light

by FoulOne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4171044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoulOne/pseuds/FoulOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first ever attempt to write fanfiction so please go easy on me. Saying that, any feedback at all would be appreciated - there's always room for improvement!  </p><p>At it's simplest it's a love story: After years of rivalry and hatred, Harry and Draco are together. But the road to true love is never easy, as they are about to discover. Fluff & Angst but mostly lots of Drarry kissing to be honest.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter or any of the characters. The Harry Potter Universe is the property of (the queen) J.K. Rowling, and is not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Chapter

“HARRY!” 

Harry shook his head to clear it and turned to stare at a rather angry looking Hermione. Oops. 

“Sorry! I was distracted, what were you saying?”

She shook her head at him, but with the hint of a smirk appearing on her lips. Harry looked at Ron, hoping he would be able to let him know what was going on, but Ron was much more interested in polishing off his plateful than helping his best mate out. Harry sighed, knowing he was going to have to ask her himself.

“What is it?”

“Oh nothing, I can see that staring at the love of your life is so much more important than our conversation!” her tone was dripping with sarcasm but her words made Harry freeze.

“The l-love of my life?” he stuttered at her.

She smirked once again, “Well it’s fairly obvious isn’t it?” she nudged Ron to get his attention. 

Ron looked up, “Oh is Harry swooning again?” he started laughing.

Harry wasn’t laughing. Harry was panicking. How could they know? And why were they being so casual about it all? He opened his mouth to speak but Hermione interrupted.

“Look, why don’t you just ask her on a date?”

Her? What was Hermione talking about? Harry opened his mouth once more to speak but was interrupted once more, this time by Ron.

“Yeah, she’s broken up with that Cedric now, and she clearly likes you!”

Cho. They were talking about Cho. Relief flooded through Harry, they didn’t know. Of course they didn’t know. He gave a weak laugh and pretended to be embarrassed. He was halfway through some sob story about how he was giving her time to get over Cedric before Ron’s expression turned dark.

“What does that prat want?” He grumbled under his breath. 

Before Harry could even register what was happening, he heard that oh so familiar voice that sent a shiver right through him. 

“Well look who it is, Weasley, Know-it-all and The Chosen One. Oh I might faint with joy.”

“Get lost Malfoy,” Ron growled at him.

Harry kept his gave fixed on the table, willing himself not to look at Draco. He felt a blush rising up his face and he tried to sink lower down in his seat. 

“Not looking at me Potter? Oh I’m terribly offended, I might have to go cry in a corner somewhere. Oh wait, I’m not a snivelling drip like you.” He practically spat the insult at him, delivering it in a particularly vicious manner. Harry prayed that Hermione and Ron wouldn’t notice that Draco was being more violent than usual towards him, but he could already see Hermione staring at him with curiosity.

Ron started to rise out of his seat, obviously intending to fight Draco, but Hermione placed a hand on his arm to stop him. She murmured something in his ear and he relaxed again. Draco smirked.

“Even your girlfriend thinks you’re too weak to fight me Weasley!” and with that he strutted away and left the hall. 

Ron and Hermione immediately started ranting about him, Ron’s ears turning pink with fury. Harry kept quiet, trying to hide his face. He knew the blush was still there and he didn’t have an explanation for it. Well, not one that they would understand anyway. He tuned out of their conversation until he was aware of his name being mentioned. 

“How come he was so angry at you, Harry?”

“Yeah, he seemed even more aggressive than usual to you!”

Harry stared at their questioning faces. He shrugged, muttering that he didn’t know. Thankfully it was time to go to afternoon classes so they were unable to question him further.  
As they left the hall and were heading towards potions, Harry caught a glimpse of blonde hair in the corner of his eye. He hung back, telling Hermione and Ron to go on, that he had just realised he had left his potions book in the common room and he needed to go and get it. 

Once they had disappeared from sight Harry marched towards the corner where he had spotted the blonde haired boy. He grabbed hold of the boy’s robes and pulled him into the shadows, where they couldn’t be seen.

“What the hell was that?” Harry questioned. 

“I’m sorry, okay! I just..” 

“What?”

“I just wanted an excuse to speak to you!” Draco blushed almost beetroot red. He looked vulnerable, like he wasn't used to letting his feelings known.

Harry dropped his grip on the robes and smiled. 

“Don’t be sorry, that’s sweet.” His smile grew into a grin as a bashful Draco stared at his feet in embarrassment. 

“Stop laughing at me!” 

Harry placed his hand under Draco’s face and lifted it so they were looking into each other’s eyes. He slowly moved forward so their lips were almost touching. 

“I would never laugh at you.”

Draco shifted slightly, causing their lips to collide, and they were kissing. Harry was aware of everything and nothing at the same time. The school could be burning down and he wouldn’t notice but he could feel Draco’s hand in his hair, feel every point where their bodies touched. He pulled Draco closer, digging his fingers into his back, desperate to be even nearer. He gasped as Draco bit his lip, and he deepened the kiss. He never wanted it to end, he felt like he was on fire. He felt alive. Draco moaned, his hand sliding up Harry’s back, grasping him tightly. He knew then that he loved this boy, that whatever happened he, Harry James Potter, was in love with Draco Malfoy. 

He broke off the kiss, flustered and hot. Draco stared at him as he sorted out his robes.

“You know something? You’re a good kisser, Potter.”

Draco went to leave, turning back to give Harry a soft kiss on the cheek and a soft smile.

“I love you,” Harry whispered to the now vacant space in front of him. He could never bring himself to actually say it to the boy, the fear of rejection stopping him every time he tried.

Harry stumbled into potions, fifteen minutes later than he should have been. He ignored Hermione and Ron’s questioning looks, enduring Snape’s snide comments about how he ‘clearly thought himself above everyone else’ before sliding into his seat. He looked at Draco’s chair beside him. Empty. He sighed, potions was bad enough without having to suffer through it alone.

He remembered back at the start of the year, when he actually thought sitting next to Draco was a bad thing. They had argued constantly, about everything and anything. But Harry had found himself looking forward to these times, when they would bicker until they both burst out laughing, before turning away from each other and pretending it hadn’t happened. This had carried on for about 2 or 3 months until one day Draco had stopped mid-sentence and sighed. 

“I don’t want to argue anymore Potter, I’m tired.”

“That doesn’t usually stop you, just makes you more grumpy,” Harry had muttered, smirking.

“No, I’m tired of pretending I hate you when I really just want to pin you down and kiss your stupid face.” 

Harry had stared at him, a blush rising up his face, “You w-what?” 

“You heard.”

“You want to kiss me? But you hate me?” Harry hadn’t understood at all. Here was the boy who had made his life a misery for so many years suddenly telling him he wanted to KISS him?! It didn’t make any sense.

Draco had scoffed. “Hate you? Why do you think I sat next to you in the first place?”

“Um, why you do almost everything else? Because you enjoy making my life miserable?” 

“Hmm, interesting.” Draco had turned away from him and hadn’t spoken for the rest of the lesson. This had left Harry to his swirling thoughts, moving so quickly he felt dizzy. Yes he had enjoyed his potion lessons a lot more this year than ever before, but that didn’t mean he liked Draco. Did it? He certainly didn’t like him in that way, he wasn’t even gay! So why did he suddenly feel like kissing Draco was the best idea he had ever heard? And why couldn’t he stop staring at the boy’s lips?

Harry had been a mess the rest of that day. Hermione and Ron had eventually given up on asking him what was wrong and left him to his thoughts. He had sat in the common room that night going over everything until he suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He had sprung out of his chair, ignoring Hermione and Ron’s questions, and stormed out of the room. Marching through the school like a mad man, he hadn’t stopped until he reached the door to the Slytherin common room. A few first years had been lurking around outside and Harry had stopped them, demanding them to go and get Draco. Ignoring their looks of confusion he had paced back and forth until that blonde headed idiot had sauntered outside to where he was standing. He remembered how he had dragged him by the robes, ignoring his protests, until they had reached a secluded corner of the school where nobody went. Draco had yanked himself out of Harry’s grasp and started to speak, 

“What the hell do you think you’re-“

Harry hadn’t let him finish. Before Draco had known what was happening, Harry had pressed his mouth against his and silenced him. And boy was he glad he had. Because the kiss that followed had been so incredible that he still got shivers just thinking about it. Draco had pulled him closer, until they had been pressed right against each other, causing Harry to gasp. Harry had been able to feel Draco smiling as he sighed Harry’s name into his mouth. Harry had put his hand on the back of Draco’s head, pulling him closer, and had smiled as Draco’s tongue had slipped into his mouth. He had let himself go, throwing logic and reason out of the window, and fallen into the magic of the kiss. Harry couldn’t breathe it was so intense, and he never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again. 

Breaking apart, breathing heavily, they had stared at each other for a while. Cutting through the silence Draco had said, “Holy shit, Potter. Shit.” His voice had been lower and raspy; it sent a shiver down Harry’s spine.

“That was- that was incredible.” Harry had whispered, his own voice also sounding lower than normal. Draco had raised his eyebrows in agreement, seemingly unable to speak.

“So, did it live up to your expectations then?” Harry had asked.

Draco had grabbed him, pushing him against the wall. The kiss he had then proceeded to give Harry answered his question in place of words. Yes, it had most definitely lived up to his expectations. 

And that’s how it had started. After that first kiss, Draco and Harry were spending every moment possible with each other. They didn’t tell anyone, still pretending to hate each other in public, but every chance they got they were together. Faking study sessions, homework, detention, they spent their time talking and laughing and, most importantly, kissing. Harry felt happier than he had in a very long time and he slowly fell in love with the boy, finally admitting this fact to himself late one night when he couldn’t sleep. Whenever he saw him his heart swelled with emotion, and he struggled to keep this in check when they saw each other in public.

“POTTER, GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!” Harry was knocked out of his daydream by the sound of Snap screaming at him. Looking around he realised that the room was empty, and he had been sitting staring into space for god knows how long. He scrambled to his feet, grabbing his bag, and stuffed books into it as he ran out of the class, Snape’s voice shouting abuse at him as he went.


	2. The Second Chapter

Harry had been staring at the empty piece of parchment in front of him for a very long time. He was well aware of the fact that he should have finished this potions essay a long time ago, but he couldn’t concentrate. Two weeks had passed since the potions incident, and he hadn’t seen or heard from Draco. He knew they were both busy, the teetering pile of homework beside him was evidence enough of that, but two weeks was a long time. He missed the boy more than he cared to admit and he longed to see him. 

Just as he was thinking this, a familiar blonde head appeared in the library. Flopping himself down in the chair opposite Harry’s, Draco pulled thumped his bag on to the table. Wordlessly he took out a textbook and his wand, cleared his throat, and began to practise some sort of spell. Harry stared at him, speechless, before hissing, “What are you doing?”

“Well it’s good to see you too, Potter.” Draco didn’t bother to lower his voice in the slightest.

“Someone might see us!”

The librarian flapped over to their table like a bat, shushing them viciously, before disappearing again. Draco raised an eyebrow at Harry before going back to his spell. Harry simply gawped at him; they never spoke in public. Ever. They had decided back at the start of all this that it was too risky, someone was bound to figure out how they actually felt about each other. But here Draco was, sitting there like it was no big deal.

“Quit staring at me, you’re freaking me out.”

“Good, it’s fun to watch you squirm.” Harry grinned, slipping back into their usual banter with ease.

“That’s rude, you should be glad to see me!”

“Oh, are you going to tell on me to your father?”

Draco smirked, “Hmm, maybe not. Only because I’ve missed you though.”

A warm feeling spread through Harry. He was truly glad to see Draco, and the fact they had both missed each other’s company made it even better. 

Hours passed as they chatted away, homework forgotten, until the librarian swooped down on them again, this time to insist that the library was now closed. Shouldering their bags, they left the room. Walking down the corridor together Harry felt Draco’s hand slipping into his, and he looked up in surprise. Draco must have really missed him to risk being seen like this. The other boy’s face looked unsure, but as Harry squeezed his hand it relaxed. 

They continued like that until they had reached the part of the school where they went their separate ways. Giving Harry’s hand a gentle squeeze, Draco let go. He quickly scanned around him to check they were actually alone before leaning across to softly kiss Harry’s mouth. The kiss was brief but sweet and by the time Harry had re-opened his eyes, Draco was gone. 

He walked back to the Gryffindor common room slowly, savouring the moment. He knew as soon as he reached the Fat Lady it would be straight back to normality; back to questions from his friends about where he had been and why none of his homework had been done. Being with Draco made him feel different, like he was more alive than he had ever been before. Even just talking to the boy, staring into those cloudy, bottomless grey eyes, made adrenaline pump through Harry’s body and his nerves stand on end. He wanted to tell everyone, shout it from the roof, that he was the one who got to kiss those beautiful, soft lips; that it was him who had been chosen to hear all of Draco’s hopes and dreams and fears; he wanted everyone to know how much he loved him. 

Harry sighed. He knew he could never tell anyone about their relationship. After years of Draco tormenting him and his friends, the news that they were apparently together just wouldn’t sit well with any of them. And even if they somehow accepted it, it would be awkward, they would resent Harry for it. No, it was safer it no one knew, for now at least.   
Silently accepting this, Harry slumped into the common room. It was mostly empty, bar Hermione and Ron who were sitting in the corner surrounded by books. Ron had his head on the desk, having apparently given up, while Hermione scribbled away. They both looked up as Harry entered. 

“Hey mate, you finished that potions essay yet?” Ron’s question reminded Harry that he in fact hadn’t finished the essay he said he was going to the library to do. 

“Um, no, I haven’t actually. Just couldn’t get into it I guess.”

Hermione looked horrified, “But it’s for tomorrow, Harry! You can’t not hand It in, Snape will be furious!”

Ron laid his hand on Hermione’s, “It’s fine, we can both just copy yours.”

Hermione stared at Ron’s hand, a blush rising on her cheeks. Ron seemed to realise what he was doing, the tips of his ears going read as he quickly took his hand away again. There was a moment of awkward silence. 

“So yeah, Hermione can we please borrow your essay?” Harry tried to salvage the situation, starting to worry about this essay he hadn’t completed. 

Hermione sighed in defeat, throwing her essay down on the table and frowning in disapproval, “Fine. But I can’t help you every time you decide not to do your homework you know.”

Ron and Harry assured her that ‘of course they would never let it happen again’, and how ‘eternally grateful they were’. They stayed in the common room, copying the essay, while Hermione marched off to bed. They chatted for a while but soon the only sound in the room was the scratching of quills against parchment. 

Hours later, in the small hours of the morning, they both admitted defeat. By this point neither of them cared about the state of their essays and were too tired to even drag their weary bodies up into the dormitory. They sat there for a while longer, in a comfortable silence, before Ron spoke. 

“I really like her, Harry.”

Harry had been expecting this for some time now. He had noticed the two of them growing slowly closer, touching each other more than necessary, and sharing special little grins. Harry was delighted with this potential pairing. Not only were they perfectly imperfect for each other, but it also kept their attention away from his own love life. Brilliant.

“Go for it Ron, she clearly likes you too,” Harry’s reply was perhaps a bit more enthusiastic than it should have been.

“Hmm, maybe. I’ll see what happens. Anyway, what’s happening with you and Cho?”

“Nothing? What makes you think anything’s going on?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneaking off every five minutes to go and see her. I may be stupid but I’m not that bad!”

Harry gave a weak laugh. Maybe it would be easier to pretend him and Cho were an ‘item’. It would get his friends off of his back, and give him a great excuse to sneak off and see Draco.

“I’m working on it!” he said, hoping the fake cheeriness he had injected into his voice wasn't too obvious. 

Ron gave him a ‘go on’ smile.

“Well we’ve been seeing each other lots, like you said, so watch this space!” the lie came tumbling out of Harry’s mouth before he could stop them. He wanted to take the words and stuff them back in his mouth.

Ron gave him a grin, obviously pleased with his response. They agreed it was definitely time for bed, grabbing their stuff and sloping up the stairs to their room, before falling into their beds in exhaustion. Harry listened to Ron fall asleep, unable to stop his mind from going over and over what he had just said. What had he started?


	3. The Third Chapter

The next morning at breakfast, Harry and Ron could barely keep their eyes open. Ron had his head resting in his hand, using his free hand to slowly pile food into his mouth. Harry, on the other hand, had given up on food completely, resting his head in his arms on the table. Hermione shook her head at the pair of them in disapproval, chirpily eating her breakfast. Harry was just about to ask her a question about their charms lesson that day when someone nudged him in the ribs.

“I heard about you and Cho, ooh get in there Harry!” Seamus Finnigan’s face was looming above him. Harry’s sleep deprived brain took a moment to process what he was saying. What on earth was he talking about?

“Huh?” he grunted at him.

“Dean heard you and Ron having a heart to heart in the common room last night, you idiot!”

Harry lifted his head off the table and looked at the rest of the Gryffindor table. Everyone was either staring at him or whispering in little groups. This couldn’t be happening. What was Cho going to think when she heard?! She knew there was nothing going on between them at all! And what would Draco think when he heard? He would be devastated. Seamus gave him a wide grin before strolling back to his seat next to Dean. Hermione rounded on Harry, looking positively delighted at this news.

“This is brilliant! I’ve always wanted you and Cho to get together!”

Harry grunted, trying to push down the panic that was rising in him. He was going to have to ride this one out, pretend it was just a rumour, and hope it blew over. He glanced across at the other tables in the hall, meeting the eyes of countless amounts of people who were clearly talking about the news. Cho was one of them, staring at him in complete confusion. He tried to arrange his features into an expression of apology, but by the look on her face it hadn’t worked.

Harry was just about to turn round and tell his friends that it wasn’t true when he caught Draco’s eye. The hurt and betrayal in his eyes told Harry everything he needed to know, Draco had heard the news. Harry knew the guilt he was feeling was written all over his face. Before he could do anything, Draco rose out of his chair and stormed out of the hall. Ignoring everyone else, Harry followed him, unable to see anything but the picture of the sadness in Draco’s face that seemed to be branded into his mind. 

He chased him, calling his name as soon as they were out of earshot of the hall. He finally caught up with him outside the History of Magic classroom. He grabbed the boy’s robes, forcing him to stop, and tried to catch his breath so he could speak. 

“It’s not true, Draco, you have to believe me!”

Draco ripped his robes free and sneered at him, “You were heard telling Ron, your best friend. I don’t think I have to believe anything you say, Potter.”

“It was a lie, I only told him that so I would have an excuse to sneak off and see you!”

“A likely tale. You’re only telling me what I want to hear.” Draco’s voice was dripping with anger. Harry could see him putting up his walls, refusing to let Harry see how upset he was. What had he done? He was going to lose the boy he loved, because of a stupid lie. 

“Draco please,” Harry reached out a hand and gently cupped his face, “I’m not interested in Cho, you know that.” 

Draco raised his hand and tentatively placed it on top of Harry’s. For a moment there was silence, broken only by the sound of Harry’s heart beating in his ears. Harry stared into the other boy’s eyes, but where there was once familiarity and something close to love, now lay anger and worst of all, sadness. The realisation hit Harry harder than a Night Bus: he had hurt Draco, really hurt him, and nothing he said was going to change that. 

As he desperately tried to think of something, anything, to say, Draco hand stiffened and he ripped Harry’s hand from his face. He leaned forward until his face was directly in front of his. Harry stared at him, choking on everything he wanted to say, unable to think of the magic words that would fix this. With fire burning in his eyes once more, Draco hissed the words at him, “All I know about you is that you’re a snivelling, big-headed liar, Potter.” And having delivered this blow, he sauntered off, as if he was completely care-free. 

Harry recoiled as if he’d been stung. He couldn’t believe how much of an idiot he’d been. Why had he ever thought pretending to like Cho was a good idea? Of course it was going to backfire; of course Draco was going to hear about it. He wanted to curl up in a ball and scream, but he had to go back into the hall with an excuse as to why he had left in the first place, and to pick up the stuff he’d abandoned beside his seat. 

He trudged back down the corridor, trying to discreetly slip back into the hall unnoticed. He scanned the sea of pupils sitting in front of him, silently praying nobody had watched him run out after Draco. Despite everything, Harry wanted to retain the boy’s privacy. He knew Draco would hate it if anyone found out about them and the least he could do was respect that wish, especially after the scene that had just taken place.

Making his way down the table, he could see his friends were engrossed in an intense discussion. Talking about him probably, and his rather abrupt departure from the room. The thought had barely crossed his mind before he could hear Draco’s voice mocking him, “Thinking about yourself again, Potter? You big-headed liar.” His own conscience was adding to the words that Draco had said, taunting him. He tried to shake the words from his head but they were coming thicker and faster now. “Big-headed.” “Liar.” “Pathetic.” “Snivelling liar.” Harry stumbled and almost tripped over his own feet, bumping into a younger pupil. The girl stared at him, a mixture of disgust and confusion on her face as she side-stepped past him. He had to pull himself together, this was ridiculous. He coughed, straightened up from the hunched up position he had slipped in to, and started paying attention to his surroundings. Hermione and Ron had looked up from their discussion and were staring at him with concern. He forced a grin onto his face and waved at them, walking quickly over to them and slipping into his vacant seat. 

“Where on earth have you been, mate?” Ron was looking at him quizzically. Harry started to reply, ready with excuses about a sudden urge to puke and a vital book left in the dormitory, when he noticed the top of Ron’s ears were red. Sneaking a look at Hermione he noticed that her face had also turned a definitive shade of pink, and she looked flustered. He grinned to himself as he realised the intense discussion hadn’t been about him at all, it had been about them. Keeping this thought to himself to harass Ron about later, he muttered out his excuses and picked up his bag from the floor. 

They stood up together, and made their way to class. Harry couldn’t focus all morning, entering into a trance during History of Magic that lasted throughout Transfiguration and Charms. When Flitwick fell off his stool he didn’t even notice, oblivious to the laughter until Ron nudged him sharply in the ribs. 

“Harry, are you sure you’re alright? You look sort of pale, is your scar hurting you again?” Ron looked worried, presumably fearful of the implications of Harry’s scar hurting him. Harry quickly shook his head and shrugged, “Just tired I guess.”

He couldn’t tell Ron what was really the matter with him. That he was unable to think of anything but how to salvage his tattered relationship with the love of his life, who also happened to be the boy he was supposed to hate. 

The trance lasted all through lunchtime, unnoticed due to Ron’s desperate scribbling onto his potions essay and Hermione’s attempts to help. Harry’s stomach growled, but he couldn’t face eating anything. His worry was consuming him and it wasn’t until they were on their way to Potions that he woke up, hit by the realisation of his imminent meeting with Draco. Maybe this was his chance: he could figure out exactly what to say to show Draco the truth. He knew Draco, the boy would have to speak to him; there’s no way he would be able to sit there for a whole lesson in silence. They could talk properly, go back to how they were before. He could make Draco laugh until they both forgot about how sad he had made him. 

Harry led the way into the dungeons, practically skipping with the hope he now felt. Hermione and Ron struggled to keep up with him, wordlessly questioning each other as to what on earth was wrong with him, as he bounded through the door of the classroom. He was halfway across the classroom before he noticed his desk was empty, bar Snap, who was lurking next to Draco’s chair. 

“Malfoy has decided he can’t stomach a whole lesson sitting next to you today Potter, and who can blame him really.” Snape’s voice slithered into Harry’s ear like a snake, his words causing his whole body to go cold. Draco was avoiding him and, as Snape said, who could blame him?

He was craning his neck to see if Draco had turned up to class at all, when Snape spoke once more. “Well, Potter. Seeing as I’m already over here, you might as well give me your essay first.” Concluding that Draco wasn't there, Harry slumped down into his seat, pulled out the crumpled mess that was his essay, and consoled himself with the thought that at least this day couldn't get any worse. Well, after Snape had finished shouting at him that is.


	4. The Fourth Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basic summary - I love Drarry, Drarry loves Drarry, Draco is a bit kinky, and not everything is hunky dory as it seems - Is this the calm before the storm? We shall wait and see..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise profusely for how long it has taken me to get this chapter finished. I just started uni in September, and life has been hectic! But, finally, here is chapter four. I don't think it's quite as good as the previous chapters, but I'm just so glad to be uploading it that I'm just going for it! Enjoy.

“Harry, your essay isn’t going to write itself, not matter how intensely you stare at it.” Hermione’s voice filtered into Harry’s head, distracting him from his repetitive, self-hating thoughts. He blinked rapidly, and came back to his senses. Sitting in the Gryffindor common room, he had been attempting to write this Potions essay for over two hours, but he kept getting distracted. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened, how much of an idiot he was. It hadn’t even seemed like a big deal at the time, but the consequences appeared catastrophic in Harry’s mind. Draco hadn’t spoken to him, or even looked in his direction, in three days. Three days was a long time to lie awake at night, close to tears at the idea that he might never speak to him again. 

“I’m working on it, I’m just thinking I guess.” Harry tried to inject some cheeriness into his voice, giving Hermione a weak smile to accompany his equally weak reply. She frowned at him, but appeared to be satisfied, going back to her own work. Harry let out an involuntary sigh. He couldn’t bring himself to care about schoolwork; he couldn’t bring himself to care about anything. He wasn’t eating, he wasn’t sleeping, and frankly, he was exhausted. Thoughts of Draco were consuming his every waking moment, and the moments when he should have been sleeping. His head hurt all the time but this time, it had nothing to do with his scar. He knew his friends were worried about him, but how could he even begin to explain? Draco was walking around the castle hating Harry and, in his friends’ eyes, that was how it should be. How it used to be, before he exploded into Harry’s life like some sort of love potion filled firework. 

Hermione yawned, stretching her arms out and making a noise similar to the cat lying on her lap. “I think I’m going to head to bed, I’ll see you two in the morning.” Lifting Crookshanks off of her legs and onto the floor, she stood up. Shoving her books into her bag, she walked across the room, pausing beside Harry’s chair. “If you don’t manage to get it finished,” she said softly, “you can have a look at mine at breakfast”. Squeezing Harry’s shoulder, she walked past him and disappeared into the girl’s dormitory, followed by Crookshanks. Trying to make a joke out of the surprisingly tender moment that had just taken place, Harry tried to laugh, “Wow, that’s something I never thought I’d hear her say!” His laugh caught in his throat and erupted from him like a strangled cat. Ron stared at him in pity, and Harry’s joke fell flat as he realised this was a planned move from his friends. “She’s worried about you mate, we both are.” Ron continued to look at him with concern, the tips of his ears reddening at this show of emotion.

Harry felt like he was suffocating. He knew he should be grateful his friends cared so much about him, and he was. But he couldn’t tell them, he could never make them understand; he was completely alone. Their concern felt like an added weight upon his shoulders, pressurising him into coming up with some excuse as to why he was acting like moaning myrtle all of a sudden, after weeks of ecstatic joy. “I’m fine.” He grunted, dismissing Ron’s concern with a hand gesture. 

“I’m not an idiot, Harry, and Hermione certainly isn’t.” They both gave a weak chuckle, “We know something’s wrong.” Harry could feel the lack of sleep taking its effect, as the stress inside of him threatened to snap. “I said I’m fine, Ron!” This came out as a shout, attracting the attention of the others sitting in the room. Ron’s look of pity was burning into him, and Harry knew he had to get out of here before he went crazy. Standing up, he let his pile of stuff fall to the floor with a crash. Wordlessly, he turned towards the door and started to walk out. He heard Ron get up behind him, imploring him to stop, but he ignored him. A hand was placed on his shoulder, presumably Ron’s, but he shook it off, growling at whoever it was to leave him alone. He didn’t look back as the door swung closed behind him, stalking down the corridor in no particular direction. 

Anger fizzed inside of Harry as he stormed down the corridors. He knew he was in the wrong, they were just worried about him, but he fumed at the idea of them having little discussions about him behind his back. What did they know about how he was feeling? What did anyone know? He was isolated, increasingly so now after alienating his best mate. And he had no idea where he was. Coming to an abrupt halt, Harry looked at his surroundings. An unfamiliar door was situated to his left, seemingly beckoning him to open it. “I just want to be alone” he thought, as he turned to face the door in question. Deciding he had nothing to lose, it couldn’t really be anything dodgy, he placed a hand on the door handle and pushed it open. 

He was standing in the middle of what appeared to be the Gryffindor common room, but this room had nobody else in it. There were the soft seats, the fire flickering merrily. He could see a table with a game of Wizard’s Chess sitting on it, and another with some books. Not textbooks, but wizarding children stories. He started to walk towards this pile, to see if he could recognise any from talking to Ron, but a noise stopped him. He twirled round, certain he had just heard the door slam, and came face to face with Draco. 

“Harry?” the shock on Draco’s face mirrored his own. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Draco,” this came out in a whisper. Excitement filled his belly and for a brief second he forgot about everything. All he could see was Draco’s eyes drawing him in, making him believe that everything could be okay. 

But Draco was retreating. “I don’t know how you found me, Potter, but I don’t want to speak to you. I want to be alone”

“Wait, stop!” Harry desperately tried to prevent him from leaving. He didn’t know how they’d both ended up here, or where they were – although he had a hunch–, but now that he had him alone he was not going to give up this opportunity. “I wanted to be alone too, but please wait, I’m begging you.”

Draco couldn’t help it, he paused, his eyes twinkling. “You’re begging me?” 

Harry laughed, he couldn’t help it. “Of course you would make that into something dodgy.” 

“Well, what can I say, my mind is permanently in the gutter.”

Behind this teasing, there was a hardness from Draco. Things were normal, but they weren’t. Harry could deal with that though, as long as Draco wasn’t leaving, as the penny had dropped. They must be in the room of requirement. And they both thought they wanted to be alone. But if Draco was here too, that must mean they had a shared subconscious desire to be alone, together. He softly took a step towards him, monitoring his face for any signs that would tell him to back off. But Draco didn’t react, keeping his face completely still. Another step, and another, and he was firmly placed within touching distance of him. He gently took Draco’s hand in his, and waited to see what would happen next. 

Draco looked first at their intertwined hands, before lifting his eyes to look into Harry’s. Their breathing increased as they stared at each other, a meaningless amount of time passing. Harry was on the verge of speaking, when Draco cut him off, silencing him with his mouth on his. 

Harry’s mind exploded like popping candy as sparklers went off behind his eyes. He let out an involuntary moan, grabbing a handful of Draco’s hair as he pulled him closer. Draco groaned, realising his hand from Harry’s as he reached up to clutch the back of Harry’s robes. Everything melted away until there was nothing left apart from Draco. Draco’s mouth, Draco’s body, all he could feel was him pressing up against him. The kiss was desperate, passionate, and soon they were lying together on the floor, with no recollection of how they got there. Events flashed by like snapshots: Draco biting his lip, their tops coming off, the hickey on his chest. Overwhelming pleasure, desire, satisfaction. In mind, in spirit, in body, they were one, and Harry believed he would never feel anything as intense as this again. 

They lay there for hours, unaware of time passing as they were together. No words were needed for a time; Draco cradled Harry’s head on his chest and Harry had his arms wrapped around him. They were content, completely at peace in each other’s company. But all good things must end, and eventually the silence had to be broken: they had to come back down to earth. 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Draco whispered into Harry’s ear. “I massively overreacted, I just couldn’t – I didn’t – I” Harry broke him off, lifting his head to look him in the eye. “You have nothing to apologise for, absolutely nothing. It’s me who should be apologising, I almost ruined everything.” Draco looked down at him for a while, and then nodded. Silently, they agreed that nothing more needed to be said, and they both moved on. Although it would take them a while to really, truly, forget, they both knew they had forgiven each other long before these apologies. 

“I’ve missed you, Potter.” Harry thought he would die with happiness when these words were uttered into the silence as they sorted their clothes. “I’ve really missed you.” Pausing to stroke his face, Harry grinned, “Thought you might, I’m quite a guy.” Rewarded with a smirk from Draco, accompanying the ‘bitch please’ expression on his face, Harry put joking aside and confessed. “I seriously missed you too.” Draco smiled, and they started to walk out together.

As they reached the door they paused, each acknowledging how much they wanted to stay in this bubble where they could be alone. Suddenly, without warning, Draco pushed Harry against the wall beside the door and was kissing him again. He pushed his hips into him, causing Harry to gasp and pull him closer. Draco kissed him hard, and Harry could feel him smirking beneath it as he felt the effect he was having on him. Draco’s hands wandered, touching Harry in all the right place, sneaking underneath his clothes. Harry moaned and heat filled his body. But before he could even really comprehend what was happening, how good it felt, it was over and Draco was gone. But as he disappeared, Harry was certain he heard the whisper of “I love you, Potter” trailing behind him, and he had never felt happier.


End file.
